by the Pretzel Girlz
VERSE
You scrawled me in a notebook with a ballpoint pen
Words tripping over themselves … and then
A story, a scene, two star-crossed kids
The moments were small but the feelings were big
YODEL
CHORUS
I’m a … BIG BOOK, a BIG BOOK
Commercial appeal and a strong hook
Totally worth a … second look
I’m a BIG BOOK … A BIG BOOK
VERSE
Just a small town book on the streets of New York
All those Frankfurt deals, all that industry talk
I’m the toast of the town and the clink of a glass
Another round of canapes? Baby please don’t pass
YODEL
CHORUS
I’m a … BIG BOOK, a BIG BOOK
Commercial appeal and a strong hook
All those people give me a … second look
I’m a BIG BOOK … A BIG BOOK
RAP
The bit about the buzz and the honey and the money
Got some green for my flower and its nectar’s all runny
If you want the bee’s knees get the words with the power
Get the agent, get the cash
Meetings every half hour
On the floor of the fair with the big cash purse
It’s my economic world and it’s not reversed
I pay for my bling with subsidiary rights
got more translations than Arabian Nights
Darnton taught the world to communicate me
Those French bookbinders press hard on my leaves
I’m the codex with the most (sex),
The brains and the claps
Feast your eyes on this
My … French … flaps
I’m a BIG BIG BOOK
Books are made of words
Words are made of letters
Let me spell it out so you understand it better
I’m a B-I-G- B-O-O-K
And I’m best consumed like a canape
Pack me in your backpack with your small snacks
A to Zee
Let’s go…..
Anchovy, asparagus, apple if you’re dull
Baby burgers, bonbons, carrot sticks if… you… must?
Devilled Eggs, French Toast, Frankfurter…
Gradalvax, Garnish (Cmon we’re still not FULL)
I’m a comet, you’re the long tail
The winner takes all, you’re gonna fail
You’re the wrong genre, the wrong demographic
You’ll never be a hit, you’ll never be a classic
(New York Times bestseller list baby)
You’re in the wrong language
You don’t have the networks
Your publisher is small
They publish… digital first?
I’ve got my feet on the table
A veritable Babel
I make the world spin off its axis
Yo – check your citational practice!
Winner takes all
you’re a loser
You’ve got bad track
Let me tell you more
…about the snacks…
Vol-au-Vent
Wonton
eXtra special cheese
Yodel (YODEL)
Zebra bread
More and more PLEASE
The buzz is growing
The fizz is flowing
This marketing campaign
Needs more champagne
I’m a mega-bestseller
I’m one of the greats
Sally Rooney is pally
Colleen Hoover’s a mate
I’m the Book of the Fair, Fifty Shades of Great
Like Michelle Obama, paper shortage I’ll create…
I’m a B-I-G- B-O-O-K
And I’m best consumed like a canape
VERSE
My name is in lights in the literary pages
Adaptations on screen and the world’s bright stages
You shove me in your backpack; you read me on the bus
You debate me with wine; it is all about us
YODEL
CHORUS
I’m a … BIG BOOK, a BIG BOOK
Commercial appeal and a strong hook
Everyone takes a … second look
I’m a BIG BOOK … A BIG BOOK
OUTRO
Big books don’t lie and my story is true
My nectar is sweet and the buzz is from you… and you… and you…
Ullapoolism 